Why?

Another day skipped, I am really sorry. I can't promise that it won't happen again but I'll try to make it happen less. 

To be honest, today was a pretty rough day. Everything small, I feel I was doing fine but it was the bigger things that I kept screwing up for myself. I was more hungry earlier rather than later, I screwed up a job that shouldn't have happened in such a way, and I tried to do something nice for someone but didn't think about the outcome (well, I did but hesitated cuz WWCD?). I thought I had it under control... But I didn't.  My shoulders are tired, my hands are all cut up, and I'm ready to give in... But the day isn't over and I'd at least like to end it with a drawing... 

Here's today's challenge...

5. You don’t know why you are doing something

Knowing ‘why’ means having an understanding of how your art will serve the end user. I use the term ‘user’ in a broad sense, encompassing admirers and fans, as well as users of a product. For example, in understanding what message you are putting across to readers of a magazine to which you are providing illustrations.

Knowing why in this way creates real clarity of purpose, which will have a direct effect on the work you create.

Ever since I was little, I've always drawn. I remember finger painting being one of the first things. It happened only a few times in my memory and I think I really liked it. Once when I was a child, I think I was bored so I started looking through VHS covers and really loved the cartoons that were on them. I wanted to replicate them as best as my 7 year old hands can. I remember having ideas of a room I could share with my imaginative sister. Twin beds with contrasting colors, pink and hearts and everything. I had a brother instead :(

I remember learning in therapy that drawing can be a way to calm one down. I had an assignment that asked us to describe in words our calm and peaceful, quiet space. I dreamt of this place some time before and decided that that was the place but how could I describe it with words? It was best to be seen. And so I drew. 

Like I said, it was a pretty rough day. 

I draw to express. I draw to share. Today wasn't a bad day, it was just a rough day I thought I had handled but I didn't. Though I may not look it, this is how I feel I look on the inside. 

I've drawn prettier things but I'm being challenged by this list and you're getting to "know" me so I guess you could say this is part of the process. I want to make things that make people relate. Like we've all been there, same shit, different day. A few of my favorites that express their feelings: spacegoth, rmdrake, Martin Malvar, Sarah Doriani...

I think it's bedtime now.

❤ClarizeYale

P.S. Don't mind the hair. I also didn't get the best haircut. 

P.P.S. I didn't realize til the end that I kept asking myself why every time something went wrong... I'm waiting for the moments I will constantly ask myself why not?